1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
2008 was a year of living differently...I kicked it off showing my art quite publicly despite my massive fears.
Joined forces and actually became a real partner in performing with someone whose talent I actually admire.
I began diving in to dealing with my long standing mental health
problems and my neurology issues --It has been very frustrating,
heartbreaking and hard but in the end ,it has allowed me a lot of
insight and set me on a better path.
Getting help has also made me start asking the bigger question over and over and over.
"Miss Jeffries, Are you happy?"
and sadly, my answer is no- I am not.
I am very stuck on how to fix this, my first response is to clear out
everything, stop performing, stop producing, stop everything - it all
feels miserable.
However, I am faced with the obstacle that I love performing with Noah
and the merry band of gifted miscreants he brought in to my life...so I stay.
However, I have let go of any hopes of anything ever coming
about on the national burlesque stage ever again-
I had the chance and I not only walked but I caused so much damage I cannot go back.
After a lot of soul searching I have realized I am not
interested in burlesque in Portland, not even a little.
I don't find it of interest any more I will always be at Cab Bab,
singing, smart-mouthing and playing- dancing when I feel like it, but I
only have 1 obligation on my calendar and that is all I am taking.
No more dancing til I feel like there is a reason to dance.
I am tired of finding the need to sexualize every goddamn event, quite
frankly everything is infused with sex these days and NONE of it is
sexy.
Everyone keeps blah blah blahing about the "art of burlesque
" and it's importance but no one is really being very artistic and
nothing i have seen has been important.
I think a good amount of
events could continue w/o tits and ass and no one would feel slighted,
in fact I am beginning to think people might feel relieved.
So no more sexy til there is a reason to be sexy- I think there are better M.O.'s in this world.
Namely more brains, more art...give them what they never knew they wanted.
In my case that means keeping my clothes on and flaunting my great big wits
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I sort of did...
And of course I will
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes, SO MANY BABY BOYS! John Wyatt, Van Ocean...such handsome little men..
4. Did anyone close to you die?
My beloved Piwacket..bye bye heart.
No one truly "close" but there are a few less people I truly enjoyed walking the earth now.
5. What countries did you visit?
I hardly left Portland. L.A. Once , Seattle Once..other than that it has been a very home bound year.
6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
An honest loving relationship, Artistic satisfaction, peace
7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory,and why?
Feb. 1st Night one of supertrash-- Met Leland, it was "game on" instantly.
Feb11th- Pecha Kucha my first art show, Our first date.
The Entire Months of June/July - The breakup, the heartbreak, his
confessions of cheating on me, the forgiving, the return...enough drama
for an entire CW series...Just add a lot more Old Crow.
Sept. 3rd - The Dragonfly arrived in front of my door and Piwacket started to leave me.
Sept. 6th- Bye Bye my Pretty Pi, Hello Piggy.
September 20th- Moulin Rouge- we can can can!
October1st- I met Piggy in person
October 15th, Piggy came home.
November 4th- ELECTION DAY
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Showing my art.
Meeting and working with Noah.
The Movie Screenings @ The Bagdad- so very fun and gratifying.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Me continuing to present myself as a teacher-- the truth is, the brutal
truth, I do not care about anyone getting in to burlesque anymore,
maybe i never did.
I have had to be honest about it in order to let a lot of things go-
I never, ever should have made it my "living"
I grew to be resented and due to that I grew to feel unsteady and nervous.
I
opened myself up to a nasty amount of cattiness and mob mentality and
quite frankly some sheer bitchiness- I admitted my failure.
I wanted to pay people off- not back- and my financial situation well, it just wasn't going to allow it.
I
do not want to usher anyone else in to this even if it is for profit--
I no longer give a fuck about "burlesque"- plus anymore there are SO
many resources to learn and get started that it is silly to not be a
self starter-- 4 years ago that wasn't the case.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
This has been my worst year healthwise yet, early 2009 is going to be very rough but - like I like to say..And then- Spring.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Was bought for me-- but my beloved Piggy Smalls.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
my family...they have all rallied pretty hard when I have been at my weakest.
Noah for making me care about performing again.
My Maia for being so brave during all her trials and travails.
Miss O for loving me SO hard and allowing our feral little selves to bond.
Strangely...the one whose behavior made me appalled and depressed also warrants celebration-
he may have destroyed me in many ways but when he was good- he sure
saved my ass, and ultimately he brought me my greatest Happiness- my
Pug. So there's the mandatory "yay"
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Gee..one guess..that special guy who used being "brutally honest"
to be a verbally abusive alcoholic asshole.
He broke my heart and my spirit.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Bills, Rent, Production costs....
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Falling in love and believing I had met my partner in crime.
Producing events that were beyond my comfort level.
16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
Falling Slowly from Once
Extraordinary Machine Fiona Apple
This Town: Firewater
A&E /Happiness: Goldfrapp
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Sadder
b) thinner or fatter? Thinner but not eating doesn't really count as dieting..
not drinking as much really got the ball started, we'll see what not drinking at all does.
c) richer or poorer? richer, but still a brokeass- this is a cycle I would love to break this year.
I want some serious savings in the bank by this time next year.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Art, Standing up for myself,fighting for my happiness,laughing, dancing,
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
drinking, being kept up all night in screaming fights,crying, being lied to.
Fooling myself and others, feigning interest and concern, vamping compassion.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Well since I don't celebrate Christmas anymore sleeping in, playing with LePig,
eating chinese food and going to the movies.
21. Did you fall in love in 2008?
Yes.."fall" is the proper turn, you get hurt and bruised when you fall..things even break sometimes
22. How many one-night stands?
Beeswax. None for you. But wait, is it a one night stand if you already dated them?
23. What was your favorite TV program?
MAD MEN. Anthony Bourdain No Reservations,Gossip Girl, The Office.
24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Yes, very much so- Today I was hoping he'd slip on ice and split his head open.
I know my HATE is purely my hurt- but right now I wish a lot of pain on him for
how horribly he treated me.
25. What was the best book you read?
The Stillpoint Dhammapada
26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Goldfrapp..it was amazing to see her live and
I won't even allow the poor association now to ruin that.
27. What did you want and get?
a kickass job that despite some issues- I really love AND can see myself sticking with.
a perfect, perfect puppy!
A house and a room-mate that pretty much rock beyond belief
28. What did you want and not get?
unconditional and reciprocal love from the man I fell in love with.
29. What was your favorite film of this year?
Sex and The City The Movie...let's face it- I haven't been plunging too deep....
30. What did you do on your birthday?
Don't want to talk about it, it started out O.K. but it ended terribly.
31.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
I should have cut my losses much earlier on and not stuck around for the second round of heartbreak
I should have cut my losses with the burlesque shows much earlier than I did.
There are a lot more, this will be a running list...
32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
Odd- very odd.
But Oh, that hair...Miss Jeffries, you raised your own hairdo barre this year.
33. What kept you sane?
Nothing. However, I am grateful for that- it has made me take action.
34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Barack Obama- hands down.
35. What political issue stirred you the most?
The Election by far....locally the politics of cyclists vs. cars has been pretty interesting/intense.
36. Who did you miss?
L.A. not really in anyone in particular, just the city, I miss wandering her streets, it is my home.
This is where I live, but it still doesn't feel like home.
37. Who was the best new person you met?
Olivia, Noah, Piggy, and a recent addition Miss L and the Iggymonster
38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
Just because it is who you have been, doesn't mean it is who you have to continue being.
